Danny DeVito Quotes

I always thought the saddest feeling in life is when you're dancing in a really joyful way and then you hit your head on something.

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

Once I was playing and moving around and I fell right on my back. Just straight on my back. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life.

I thought I was raptured up into the air today; turns out, it was just my gas oven exploding.

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

I spilled more times than a glass of milk on a roller coaster.

Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me - ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness.

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

I got run over by a bug-eyed dummy, I guess.

I fell, you see. Trod on my abbot, Father Habit. Oh, dear! I mean.

After that, he tried to go upstairs through the broom cupboard, and then the yard. This seemed to puzzle him a little. But finally he discovered the stairs, all except the bottom on, and fell up them on his face. The whole castle shook.

Yes I think I'm okay, walked into the door again.

Maybe" she said. "I just wish we'd have a little mishap.It would be reassuring

I was competing in an IPC World Cup race, but the finish area was short and I came across the line with my head down and went straight through the fence. It was only because the Italian team doctor leapt out to grab me that I didn't smash through the café window.

Professor,” Harry gasped. “Your bird — I couldn’t do anything — he just caught fire —

The bowl landed, in glorious perfection, atop the head of Mrs Barnaclegoose, who was not the kind of woman to appreciate the finer points of being crowned by trifle.

Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob." "Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him," I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. "I'm fine," I said to Lula. "Maybe I'll sleep here tonight.

I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely.

It felt as if maybe the curse had lifted, the tide had shifted, but then the breeze picked up and a skeet took a very unfortunate turn. Seconds later, Angus was pulling his shot far to the right, shooting a large hole in the second-story galley not ten feet above Marcus's head.

What happened to your face?" Harriet asked. "It was a misunderstanding," Daniel said smoothly, wondering how long it might take for his bruises to heal. He did not think he was particularly vain, but the questions were growing tiresome. "A misunderstanding?" Elizabeth echoed. "With an anvil?" "Oh, stop," Harriet admonished her. "I think he looks very dashing." "As if he dashed into an anvil." "Pay no attention," Harriet said to him. "She lacks imagination.

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!

The storm dropped a house on her head.

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

I was blown up while we were eating cheese.