Bill Engvall Quotes

I've broken my nose, I've broken ribs. You name it. In fact, we just got back from South America, and I fell over a monitor speaker on the stage and almost ended up in the front row of the audience. I managed to sprain my wrist on that one but luckily nothing was broken.

I was playing baseball, and I tripped over first base - I'm very clumsy - and I fell and broke my wrist. That was pretty painful.

I'm very ditsy and a klutz. I've been known to walk on stage and fall over my dress.

I can't dance on ice, because I'm like Bambi on ice.

My mom and dad used to call me 'full drama'. Mom had many videos of me as a kid where I was doing some dance moves, and suddenly the next moment, I was on the floor.

I fall a lot during training.

I've a tiny little scar on my chin from when I fell over on stage, bust my chin open and bled everywhere.

I fell off a wall in Cockermouth when I was 18. The slate on the top of the wall was loose and I tried to jump up and sit on it. I ended up falling backwards and the tile ended up falling back onto my hand.

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

This big fat woman bumped me on the floor, she was rarin' to go, she was rarin' to go. Then she did a dip, I almost broke my hip.

Jenks made a move to follow, probably forgetting he didn’t have wings anymore. He leaned forward and fell to the floor, face first. “Jenks!” I shouted when he hit with a dull smack and started swearing.

He had fallen out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch.

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

I fell, you see. Trod on my abbot, Father Habit. Oh, dear! I mean.

Yes I think I'm okay, walked into the door again.

I spill water on myself all the time at nice restaurants. I've run into poles and knocked myself out.

My friends make me laugh: funny Instagram videos, but mostly people falling over. It's so bad, but it never gets old. I just love how people cover up their falls. The whole experience of 'Oh, I just fell, and I'm going to run out of the fall and pretend I did this on purpose.' I just like to see how people cover up their mishaps.

I once fell through a hole in the stage.

I'm basically klutzy.

When you're walking in heels in a long dress, you're bound to fall at some point.

I'm not graceful either. I have no rhythm, I'm never on top.

If I fall and break my neck, will you say something nice at my funeral?" "Like 'Kyler was usually more graceful?

You put his brain in a bird, the bird would fly backwards" -Secret Life of the Bees

And everywhere girls, tumbling from trees like orange blossoms and hitting the earth with sickening thuds. They crack open.