Patricia Briggs Quotes

I am the biggest klutz on set. I honestly don't think I have ever been as klutzy as when I'm on set. People call me 'Grace' ironically because I'm not graceful. It's ridiculous.

I feel like every day of my life is a funny wardrobe malfunction!

If I have a drink in my hand, sometimes it accidentally falls in the direction of the person.

But we're aware of the danger all the time. We all know what can happen. I jump in the car and forget it. If you start thinking one of us will get hurt it's more likely to happen.

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

Frank didn’t drop you on purpose,” she said. “He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.” “Oops,” Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. “Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!

When I look down, I miss all the good stuff And when I look up, I just trip over things.

Use your eyes. Do not enter unfamiliar areas that you cannot observe first. Make it a practice to swing wide around corners, use window glass for rearward visibility, and get something solid behind you when you pause.

Don't be careful. You could hurt yourself.

Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me - ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness.

You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or belches during the ceremony that you've got comedy!

I was recently voted best standup never to win a major.

The bowl landed, in glorious perfection, atop the head of Mrs Barnaclegoose, who was not the kind of woman to appreciate the finer points of being crowned by trifle.

Jared sidled up. He was not very good at sidling; he was more of a loomer.

I'm not really deaf; I just faked it to win the Oscar KIDDING.

Writers are encouraged to "keep 'em laughing" and complain "with good humor" in order to "win" allies. The joke is always on ourselves.

I find you can often find humor just by turning something upside-down. Like a... small child.

I think Douglas [Adams] is writing with an eye to irony for adults at the same time as entertaining children.

Man versus woman equals fun. Man versus man equals gay. Woman versus woman equals awesome. Man versus pillow equals crazy. Pillow versus pillow equals crazy awesome - that's a real pillow fight right there. You see two pillows fighting, you know something's going down. They're designed for relaxation. If they're fighting, what hope do we have? One time I saw two geese fighting, and I was like, 'This is a pillow fight ahead of time.

Sorry but nothing of much importance ever happened to me...I'm just a girl who forgot to look both ways before crossing the street.

The American public highly overrates its sense of humor. We're great belly laughers and prat fallers, but we never really did have a real sense of humor. Not satire anyway. We're a fatheaded, cotton-picking society. When we realize finally that we aren't God's given children, we'll understand satire. Humor is really laughing off a hurt, grinning at misery.

My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully, and yell for help if you need it.

Better to see widely than to see too closely and allow some feature of place or situation to catch you unawares. Do you understand?

Well, I can't (sing or dance). Actually, I sing like a seal and dance like your Uncle Leo at that wedding where he got up and went 'ya, ya, ya'.

I have no more pleasure in hearing a man attempting wit and failing, than in seeing a man trying to leap over a ditch and tumbling into it