Phyllis Diller Quotes

I feel like every day of my life is a funny wardrobe malfunction!

I know my life is full of awkward pauses, and I think it's hilarious.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics.

If you have a character that doesn't have anything wrong with him, there's nothing funny about it. The idea of the straight man is very important. But I'd rather it be somebody else, because it's not as fun.

Pure unadulterated success is not as funny as failure.

Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.

It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen.

Anna followed, keeping a sharp eye out for things he might back into or over. She wondered if Isaac did this all the time-and, if so, how he avoided getting photos in the paper with captions like "Local Alpha Trips Over Child" or "Wolf Versus Street Sign, Street Sign Wins.

I think laughter comes because things are hardly working.

The Unexpected always comes at the most awkward times.

I have no more pleasure in hearing a man attempting wit and failing, than in seeing a man trying to leap over a ditch and tumbling into it

The key, I would say to any fledgling humorist starting out, is to make sure that sloppiness is part of your recipe. That way they come to expect fumbling and clumsiness and they say, "Oh, it must be a charming part of his personality."

Comedy is a very delicate business, especially comedies that sort of attempt to do things in an honest way and in a very naturalistic way the way that 'No Strings Attached' is.

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

I never thought I'd refer to myself as a hot mess.

No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.

Playing on stereotypes was meant to be humorous. If it doesn't tickle you in certain spots, it's not going to be funny. Falling down the stairs is a seriously dangerous thing, but watching it is HILARIOUS!

The last living boy in America drops into my bedroom only he wants to be a monk. I think that pretty much sums up my life.

You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.

Comedy is tragedy plus timing.

One does not contradict the other.Straight-faced is the basis of all decent comedy.

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.

God probably thinks it’s worth giving a sense of humor only to those of us who have to laugh at all the rubbish bits that are wrong with us.

Someone trying to be funny probably isn't as funny as someone who doesn't want to be funny but is and can't help it. Someone being serious or angry might be funny. If you get angry, the first thing I want to do is laugh because I don't know why you're getting that angry. Pathos makes me laugh, funerals make me laugh.