Doug Stanhope Quotes

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

A friend of mine at the American Enterprise Institute says there are two parties: the silly party and the stupid party. I'm too old for the silly party, so I had to join the stupid party.

There is nothing I dread so much as a division of the Republic into two great political parties, each arranged under its leader and converting measures in opposition to each other.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

There's a lot of division in politics, and that is why I am grateful to be a part of a show like 'Veep.' It makes light of the daunting aspects of the political world.

If there is true evil in the world - it is Republican conservatives.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

I'm a Republican. I don't want to go to heaven and have to face my family up there and tell them I voted for a Democrat.

There are too many political moderates in America.

I wouldn’t be too serious about bipartisanship. It’s a great myth that ought to be fostered. And don’t bring too damn much scholarship to bear on it. You’ll prove it out of existence if you’re not careful.

Party divisions, whether on the whole operating for good or evil, are things inseparable from free government.

The difference between Democrats and Republicans is like the difference between Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dummer.

There's an ideological belief on the left that you should not use nonpartisan tools.

I've never been a fan of party politics.

The only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea.' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it sh*ttier.'

It is impossible, maybe undesirable, to take partisanship out of the political process.

Well, I don't know too many governors who are flaming ideologues.

At its worst, Washington is a place where name-calling partisan politics too often trumps policy.

I tend to support and get behind issues instead of candidates, because of the whole 'Super Bowl' generalization of our world - You're on this side, I'm on that side; you're a Republican, I'm a Democrat; you're country music, I'm rock music.

You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!

Tool of Communist agitators... it's really a joke, isn't it? Because, quite clearly, we are a party of real moderates. It just shows how little they understand.

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

I'm a politician, and as you know, politicians are rarely very funny.