Wendy Liebman Quotes

I know I said sometimes I wear clothes but apparently I lied...I'm only packing swimsuits.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

I'm crazy about jewelry; swimwear and jewelry.

Listen: I like my bikinis very small, and I also like, uh, nude-colored bikinis because people double-take - they think I'm naked on the beach.

And I have a couple swimsuit calendars I did that are coming out.

The original way to play beach volleyball was in a bikini and board shorts, and I don't know what else they want us to wear.

We stared at the odd garment and wondered what it was for. 'What is it?' asked Larry at length. 'It's a bathing costume, of course,' said Mother. 'What on earth did you think it was?' 'It looks like a badly skinned whale,' said Larry, peering at it closely.

You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?

If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass.

General: Where are you from? Spike: London. General: Which part? Spike: ... Well, all of me.

I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.

I've gotten really hot since you went blind.

God is an iron... and that's a hot one.

Hatori: "You won't get very far if you try to threaten me in THAT outfit." Yuki: "Thank you. So much.

Tawny," I barked. My voice held the authority of a drill sergeant. She jumped. "I am NOT making out with you until the end of time. You want to do this, then you've got to work for it. Now, TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES." "Oh," said Hugh. "I've waited ten years to hear you say that to another woman.

I came upon a telegram from Eleanor Roosevelt herself to Gypsy Rose Lee that read, 'May your bare ass always be shining'. That was the clincher; I had to write about this woman.

"So you're a dom, huh? Nice." I stabbed my pancakes again. "Kinky." "You're the one who ties people up, babe."

Dresden. Am I interrupting something?" "Well, I was going to settle down with a porn video and a bottle of baby oil, but I really don't have enough for two.

On the correctly formed pubescent girl, a Speedo looked wonderful. When it was wet, it was an incitement to riot.

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me.

Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.