Spider Robinson Quotes

You are absolute angels of the first order. If I were Pope, I’d canonize you.” “The Pope would probably love to turn a cannon on you!

I am an atheist still, thank God.

The only reason I'd bring a Bible out here is if I needed toilet paper.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Everything needs to be lampooned. I believe that there's not any sacred ground.

I'm really great at making terrible analogies.

What do you think Jesus would twitter, 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone' or 'Has anyone seen Judas? He was here a minute ago.'

If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes, beautiful shoes.

If God wanted us to be naked, why did he invent sexy lingerie?

My joke is that my father was a minister and my mother was an English teacher, so I'm trained to see the world in terms of symbols, which is hard when you just want to make toast.

God will forgive me. It's his job.

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

As for George Bush of Kennebunkport, Maine- personally I think he's further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the Sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.

My dear, did you just try to prove the existence of God with your cleavage?

Satire is dependent on strong beliefs, and on strong beliefs wounded.

Wit implies hatred or contempt of folly and crime, produces its effects by brisk shocks of surprise, uses the whip of scorpions and the branding-iron, stabs, stings, pinches, tortures, goads, teases, corrodes, undermines.

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

I'm still an atheist, thank God.

My favorite sexual position is when the girl is facing Mecca and I am fighting off a wolf.

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.

Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.

I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there, we hate snakes. We think they're slimy, even though we know they're not.

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?