Colin Quinn Quotes

You don't quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you're on the floor.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

I simply don't know how to act as if I am drunk.

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."

Sometimes when you get hammered till the small hours you feel pretty good in the morning, but really it's just because you're still a bit drunk. That old hangover is just toying with you, working out when to bite.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

Wine and women do not go with song. Alcohol is the worst enemy of the imagination.

Well it's hard to remember who, but I drunk dial a lot.

It's not a crime to get drunk.

Alcohol is barren. The words a man speaks in the night of drunkenness fade like the darkness itself at the coming of day.

Things get so sloppy when you're under the influence.

I spent a lot of time between bars like this.

I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is riotous; and whoever is deceived by it is not wise

The Prophet hath cursed ten persons on account of wine: one, the first extractor of the juice of the grape for others; the second, for himself; the third, the drinker of it; the fourth, the bearer of it; the fifth, the person to whom it is brought; the sixth, the waiter; the seventh, the seller of it; the eighth, the eater of its price; the ninth, the buyer of it; the tenth, that person who hath purchased it for another.

Do not drink wine, for it is the root of all evil.

At the third cup, wine drinks the man.

He who drinks too much beer must drink water

Drunkenness was attacked in the same manner; it was discountenanced on every occasion by those who had charge of any department: its destructive and pernicious effects were frequently stated by his own more prudent comrades, at the proper moment when the individual was soberly suffering from the effects of his previous excess; pot- and public-houses were gradually removed from the immediate vicinity of their dwellings; the health and comfort of temperance were made familiar to them; by degrees drunkenness disappeared, and many who were habitual bacchanalians are now conspicuous for undeviating sobriety.

Wine is wont to show the mind of man.

All excess is ill, but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and unmans men. It reveals secrets, is quarrelsome, lascivious, impudent, dangerous and mad. In fine, he that is drunk is not a man: because he is so long void of Reason, that distinguishes a Man from a Beast.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.