Walt Kelly Quotes

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

I wanna get drunk 'til I'm off my mind. One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit.

I like a drink, mate. I'll have maybe 10 or 12 pints on a good night out.

Of course I get drunk, my brain is only the size of a walnut.

We used to drink an awful lot of alcohol.

He [Peter the Great] took his bottle heartily, so must all the company; for when he was merry himself he loved to see everybody so; though at the same time he could not endure habitual drinkers, for such he thought unfit for business.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.

The three drunkest cities in America: Fresno, Riverside, and whatever Mel Gibson is driving through.

The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.

I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.

I always drank, from when it was legal for me to drink. And there was never a time for me when the goal wasn't to get as hammered as I could possibly afford to. I never understood social drinking, that's always seemed to me like kissing your sister.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.

Lo! the poor toper whose untutored sense, Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense; Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer, Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.

I just feel like, if I drink, I want to drink a case of beer and not two beers. Two beers doesn't do anything for me.

All excess is ill; but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and unmans men. It reveals secrets, is quarrelsome, lascivious, impudent, dangerous, and mad.

That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.

Got tight on absinthe last night. Did knife tricks.

Jamie," I said, "how, exactly, do you decide whether you're drunk?" Aroused by my voice, he swayed alarmingly to one side, but caught himself on the edge of the mantelpiece. His eyes drifted around the room, then fixed on my face. For an instant, they blazed clear and pellucid with intelligence. "och, easy, Sassenach, If ye can stand up, you're not drunk." He let go of the mantelpiece, took a step toward me, and crumpled slowly onto the hearth, eyes blank, and a wide, sweet smile on his dreaming face.

All the damnable degrees Of drinking have you staggered through.

Nor is drunkenness censured for anything so much as its intemperate and endless talk.

[Dean Martin] is an absolute, unqualified drunk. And if we ever develop an Olympic drinking team, he's gonna be the coach... Dean Martin has been stoned more often than the United States embassies.

I had been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who got drunk - and I would have liked to have the boozing scholars of the Universities wheeled into line and properly chastised for their squalid misuse of what I must ever regard as a gift of the gods.