Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

Never have more children than you have car windows.

I'm, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky.

He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

I never rode in an automobile until I was 12.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself.

I have a real passion for driving. Earlier on in my life I wanted to be a race car driver. But I don't pay an extortionate amount of money for cars. I'm pretty frugal.

A Fiat Panda, it's the best car in the world.

I like girls who are funny with a warped sense of humor.

Every young man's best purchase is his first car, which spells freedom. My first one was a '70 Camaro, springtime gold-over-saddle, a 307 with Hi-jackers and chrome reverse mags.

Obviously I rely on my driving.

I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do.

We'd get in the car and i'd look over at John and say 'Christ. Look at you. You're a bloody phenomenon!' and just laugh because it was only him.

If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car.

Secondhand experience breaks down a block from the car lot.

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase. You know, something like Ladies and Gentlemen. That'll be a cool name for a kid. This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen! Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, Ladies and Gentlemen, please!

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.

I brought the Beetle to life with a roar. Well. Not really a roar. A Volkswagen Bug doesn't roar. But it sort of growled.

Not that I was worried about anyone stealing my car. I once had a car thief offer to get me something better for a sweetheart rate.

Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong-normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.