Spike Milligan Quotes

I went to culinary school to eat.

Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!

I love restaurants, and I love cooking.

Recently I've been doing risottos. Some of them have been amazing. Some of them, not all of them.

You can call me the bad boy chef all you want. I'm not going to freak out about it. I'm not that bad. I'm certainly not a boy, and it's been a while since I've been a chef.

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

I jokingly refer to the word 'gourmet' as the 'g' word.

I've never considered myself a celebrity or even part of the entertainment business. I'm a cooking teacher.

You can make fun of everything.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Satire also allows you to make fun of every different aspect. It allows you to make fun of both sides. It allows you to make fun of everything, really, so you can do it in a harmless way.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

I wanted to write about what we were doing at the French Laundry, the recipes and the stories.

You have to be careful what you say in front of comedy writers because they will absolutely make fun of it in the next episode.

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

All right, I can see the broken eggs. Now where's this omelet of yours?

There's nothing worse than trying to be funny and not being funny.

My father and my brother are chefs.

Hospitality and cooking are my passion, and I love nothing more than seeing someone's face when they taste an unforgettable bite.

My grandfather, father, and uncle were chefs, and my other uncle was a butcher.

That's what I love about 'MADtv': If you exist, if you breathe, we will take you down.