Culinary Failure Quotes

When you cook a sausage, the skin sometimes breaks and the ground meat comes apart.

The night before Tilbury, the Cordon Bleu gourmet dinner turned out Cordon Brown. Six out of ten to the chef for trying and ten out of ten to us for eating it.

I think my biggest heartbreak was when I just couldn't get an American cheese cake/pie with a saltine cracker crust and green tomato sorbet to work out in my favor.

I love my food and wine; I have tried my hand at being a chef and failed miserably.

Some perfect wife I am. I've been married four times, divorced four times, have no children, and can't boil an egg.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Aspiring to a souffle, he achieves a pancake at which the reader saws without much appetite.

When I was about nine years old, I announced to my mother that I was going to cook Thanksgiving dinner. And I went to the library and got this whole pile of books. I'd love to say it all turned out great. It didn't. But, sort of, from that point on, whenever there was serious cooking at home, I was the one who did it.

If I walked into a restaurant, the other diners would look around and say, 'I hope you're not cooking.'

It takes some skill to spoil a breakfast - even the English can't do it.

I can't cook to save my life. I'm a disaster.

The first time I baked, I failed a couple of times, and I made some mistakes and perhaps ended up with something inedible. Then I was a little bit more careful, and I learned how to do it right.

As a self-proclaimed cooking disaster, I try to makes things that I think I can easily master.