Ken Dodd Quotes

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws.

I'm okay with having horrible lower teeth.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

My grandfather used to be a dentist, and he made me these retainers that have vampire teeth on them.

You wouldn't believe how many people have told me that I need to fix my teeth or that I need to restructure my jawline.

You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!

Faced with the choice of enduring a bad toothache or going to the dentist, we generally tried to ride out the bad tooth.

We Robertses have too many teeth for our mouths.

I have a couple of gold teeth. I had braces for a year but I didn't wear the retainer.

I didn't want to have braces when I was a kid and I'm pretty sure my dad didn't want to pay for them.

Let's be honest, dental care in America is extremely expensive, period.

My lower and upper teeth had to be removed.

There's nothing like not washing your teeth or washing your face or brushing your teeth in the morning.

Everyone knows what toothache's like: it's one of those dull pains that just won't go away.

I always wanted to be a dentist! I thought I was going to be fixing teeth and making beautiful smiles.

I've had dentists who have wanted to help me out, but I say, 'You know, I won't work again if you fix my teeth.'

Useless as a pulled tooth.

I masturbate. A lot. And yet, I don't floss because it's too much of a hassle. Ten seconds of joy over a lifetime of tooth decay, that's what I've chosen.

Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to 'life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.'

When you have a cavity in your tooth and you let it get worse, eventually you have to get a root canal. If you have something that isn't right, the earlier you treat it the easier the treatment is going to be. That's kind of common sense.

No man should live longer than his teeth.

When you brush your teeth, I'll squeeze the toothpaste.

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

Like going to the dentist, where you write: "Dental appointment today. All of the dentists in Boulder are 'holistic.' They can't fill a cavity but they're good for your soul. Your teeth rot, but apparently your spirit prospers."