Kevin Nealon Quotes

My grandmother is 82, and some days she doesn't even put her teeth in.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

No man should live longer than his teeth.

I've only got one wrinkle, and I'm sitting on it.

They call it The New Avengers but it's really the old Avengers with new people except for me, looking rather fat and rather old.

The great thing is that the funny side of getting old is fuel for my comedy.

You get old, you slow down.

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game.

Things are old. Parts are old. I'm talking about 'us' parts. AARP-parts. Some of us were born with stronger parts than others.

The dreadful thing about getting older is you cry at the drop of a hat.

I'm not getting any younger. You're not getting any younger, so yeah. You age.

When you get older, your health becomes important to you, things start breaking down, you've always got a different ache or pain.

It sucks getting old.

I'm not a real smart guy. But I've got enough brains to realize that when I'm 60 years old and play a sport, that it's downhill.

I got some tartar-control toothpaste a while back. I've still got tartar, but it's under control.

This was a place where tattoos outnumbered teeth.

A tooth is much more to be prized than a diamond.

There is no advantage getting older. You don't get smarter, you don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't get more kindly, nothing good happens. Your back hurts more, you get more indigestion, your eyesight isn't as good, you need a hearing aid. It's a bad business getting old and I would advise you not to do it if you can avoid it. It doesn't have a romantic quality.

I've had dentists who have wanted to help me out, but I say, 'You know, I won't work again if you fix my teeth.'

Age is a terrible thief. Just when you're getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back. It makes you ache and muddies your head and silently spreads cancer throughout your spouse.

You wouldn’t know it by looking, but I had no teeth in first grade.

I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.

That fair face will as years roll on lose its beauty, and old age will bring its wrinkles to the brow.

He who immerses himself in sexual intercourse will be assailed by premature aging, his strength will wane, his eyes will weaken, and a bad odour will emit from his mouth and his armpits, his teeth will fall out and many other maladies will afflict him.