Johnny Carson Quotes

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

You know what burns me? Matches.

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

The best shows to tweet about are the ones that are hilarious, but they might not necessarily be trying to be hilarious. Those are the easiest and the funniest because you're like 'come onnnn.'

If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?

A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

To do something funny, you have to have experienced it in real life and digested it in a way that amuses you.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

If you try to be funny, you're not being funny.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.

Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way.

It's funny because it's funny.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

Sometimes you don't want to be a slapstick clown in order to convey a funny perception of the world.

Humor is the ultimate truth. If it’s not true, the joke is not funny.

Laughable