Demetri Martin Quotes

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

It's funny because it's funny.

The whole point of comedy, what's fun, is taking the stupid thought I had and working it into something that makes a bunch of people laugh.

It's hard to make a joke out of someone that's a joke.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

It is quite possible for the vulgar to be funny, but to succeed, it must rise to a certain genius.

Sometimes a witticism has no truth behind it.

I've always thought something that makes you laugh, it makes you laugh because there's a little bit of truth to it.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Everything is ironic to me. There are moments I find hysterical, but I'm probably the only one who would find that, except for a few people.

No subject is unsuitable for comedy.

You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore.

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?

A lot of people don't think of my work as being all that funny, but I think it's hilarious!

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

When things get so absurd and so stupid and so ridiculous that you just can't bear it, you cannot help but turn everything into a joke.

As you know it is a comedy so everything is a little bit pushed. That's what's funny about this kind of movie is you can laugh about the absurdity, and the bad side of life.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.