KATE O'BRIEN

My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

Hmmm... I never get the answer I think I'm going to get.

I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings.

A laugh is a terrible weapon.

If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

It's filled with... baking soda. Because it really smells.

My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.

I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings.

If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked.

A laugh is a terrible weapon.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

Hmmm... I never get the answer I think I'm going to get.

It's filled with... baking soda. Because it really smells.