Zach Woods Quotes

I cracked one joke and I was the 'Funkasaurus.'

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I don't do drama. I'm a comedian.

When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like. I tried some stand-up comedy. I had a captive audience in that bus. Then I realized I wanted to do more than that.

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh.

I told jokes badly.

I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. I've got no plans to stop doing it.

I made a living out of being a class clown.

All I care about is making jokes that are funny and making people laugh.

I remember watching Eddie Murphy's stand-up act when I was little, and just being mesmerized.

You step in with the Seth Rogens of the world, you better have some jokes.

Comedy is not easy to do - where you make someone laugh out loud in their living room.

I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation.

There's nothing worse than trying to be funny and not being funny.

The thing with the comedian is you can make all the jokes you want and not every joke it going to be a winner, and not every joke is going to land, there'll be some that somebody doesn't laugh at, but that's just part of the deal.

I use mother-in-law jokes, kid jokes, tax jokes - anything that works.

I always loved jokes. It's such a dumb, facile thing to say, but it's true. I remember being a kid and getting those joke books from the Scholastic Book Club and loving comedy from a very young age.

Several of my uncles are comedians. My father is a comedian; my grandfather was known for his jokes. It definitely runs in the family.

I am primarily a comedian. Sometimes I also do comedy about my cats. Now unless you find metaphors in cats, there is nothing political about those and I love doing such jokes as much as I love doing political content.

Growing up, I loved comedy even before I knew that you could be a stand-up comedian.

I make jokes. That's what I do.

I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice.