Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

There's no such thing as free love. Have you seen the price of Viagra?

People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.

I scowled defensively. "My conversations don't usually include the subject of erections." "Too bad," he said. "All the best conversations do.

I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.

It had better be. It doesn't do much when it's soft.

I'm human viagra. I'm Willagra. I'm a sex machine now. I'm raring to go every second of the day. My wife's loving it.

And if the problem [with contraception] is promiscuity, then why does the immense popularity of Viagra go unchecked? Doesn't it make more sense to leave the bullets out of the gun than to try to avoid being shot? Especially when the gun is an old musket, and you have to clean it out and tamp down gunpowder, melt down scraps of lead and pour it into a mold, wait for it to cool - only to have it take forever to finally go off?

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

I jest, of course; premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before my husband got his socks off.

Every person is highly individualized so if a person is seriously concerned, then they first need to get a medical evaluation and make sure there's nothing biologically going on to prevent them from climaxing.

Male sexual response is far brisker and more automatic. It is triggered easily by things - like putting a quarter in a vending machine.

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.

Ever since I discovered that my god given male member was going to give me no peace, I decided to give it no rest in return.

Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

When the male organ of a man stands erect, two thirds of his intelect go away. And one third of his religion.

He willed his body to remain unaffected. Sabin would fuss if Strider sported a hard-on around his precious. And, of course, "fuss" meant Strider would find his intestines wrapped around his neck, breathing a thing of the past.

Oh, I don't know about that, Jericho. See, when it comes to the bedroom, The Game always came up a little bit... short.

Sex, whatever else it is, is an athletic skill. The more you practice, the more you can, the more you want to, the more you enjoy it, the less it tires you.

I love Viagra. I don't need it, but I tried it. It's a great legal drug.

I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.

Viagra does have a physiological effect, but it doesn't make women feel aroused. Nowadays, researchers are looking at drugs that affect the central nervous system rather than blood flow to the genitals.