Erectile Dysfunction Quotes

Impotence is one of the major hazards of cigarette smoking.

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.

Viagra does have a physiological effect, but it doesn't make women feel aroused. Nowadays, researchers are looking at drugs that affect the central nervous system rather than blood flow to the genitals.

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable.

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?

If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers.

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

I'm a ladies' man who can never make love. I'm resigned to that.

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

I jest, of course; premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before my husband got his socks off.

There's no such thing as free love. Have you seen the price of Viagra?

I love Viagra. I don't need it, but I tried it. It's a great legal drug.

I shall sustain a massive erection, that’s what, and I shan’t be answerable for the consequences. Some kind of ejaculation is almost bound to ensue and if either of you were to become pregnant I should never forgive myself.

Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.

To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.

And if the problem [with contraception] is promiscuity, then why does the immense popularity of Viagra go unchecked? Doesn't it make more sense to leave the bullets out of the gun than to try to avoid being shot? Especially when the gun is an old musket, and you have to clean it out and tamp down gunpowder, melt down scraps of lead and pour it into a mold, wait for it to cool - only to have it take forever to finally go off?

Erections, Ejaculations,Exhibitions and General Tales of Ordinary Madness.

I'm human viagra. I'm Willagra. I'm a sex machine now. I'm raring to go every second of the day. My wife's loving it.

I scowled defensively. "My conversations don't usually include the subject of erections." "Too bad," he said. "All the best conversations do.

Oh, I don't know about that, Jericho. See, when it comes to the bedroom, The Game always came up a little bit... short.

Fifteen years ago tomorrow I had open heart surgery, a quintuple bypass surgery. Thanks to all of my doctors. Because of them, in 15 years of life I've been able to experience, well, acid reflux, short-term memory loss, and erectile dysfunction. Thanks for all your work. It's great to be alive.

Abracadabra, I'm up like Viagra.