Benjamin Franklin Quotes

Among fifty percent of your married couples, the husband worries very little about what his wife is doing, provided she is doing all he wishes.

I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.

I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

There's a lot more historical baggage to deal with as a wife than as a partner.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

I've married a man who owns nine cows," said Jinjur to Ozma, "and now I am happy and contented and willing to lead a quiet life and mind my own business." "Where is your husband?" asked Ozma. "He is in the house, nursing a black eye," replied Jinjur, calmly. "The foolish man would insist upon milking the red cow when I wanted him to milk the white one; but he will know better next time, I am sure.

A woman dictates before marriage in order that she may have an appetite for submission afterwards.

What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.

This is what marriage is all about - Man and woman walking together, wherein the husband helps his wife to become ever more a woman, and wherein the woman has the task of helping her husband to become ever more a man.

It appears that ordinary men take wives because possession is not possible without marriage, and that ordinary women accept husbands because marriage is not possible without possession

A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing him and trying to improve him.

Husbands are an inferior class of men, who require keeping in order.

It is normal for husband and wife to argue: it's normal. It always happens. But my advice is this: never let the day end without having first made peace. Never!

[I]t is dangerous for a bride to be apologetic about her husband.

Gray imagined Kat scolding her husband in an operatic duet that has been going on between husbands and wives for ages, that eternal mix of exasperation and love." -- James Rollins

This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: "Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left?" Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.

As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

I'm not the marrying kind -" St. Vincent snorted. "No man is. Marriage is a female invention.

People say, 'Why is he bored with her?' Because he's a human being, that's why; same way his wife is bored with him. That is marriage - anything that's supposed to be forever, your going to get bored with it. And there is nothing wrong with it, so don't take it personal; if you are with somebody for ten years and they are not bored with you? Then something is wrong with them.

The American girl makes a servant of her husband and then finds him contemptible for being a servant