Roseanne Barr Quotes

Where I come from, they don't think much of men who are bossed about by their wives.

What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.

You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.

The American girl makes a servant of her husband and then finds him contemptible for being a servant

Many women cut back what had to be done at home by redefining what the house, the marriage and, sometimes, what the child needs. One woman described a fairly common pattern: I do my half. I do half of his half, and the rest doesn't get done.

So, I'm lying on the couch and Laura walks in and I say, 'Free at last,' and she says 'You're free all right, you're free to do the dishes.' So I say, 'You're talking to the former president, baby,' and she said, 'consider this your new domestic policy agenda.'

I really don't know what it is. He is at home doing the breakfast dishes so that his wife can attend this meeting.

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

I've married a man who owns nine cows," said Jinjur to Ozma, "and now I am happy and contented and willing to lead a quiet life and mind my own business." "Where is your husband?" asked Ozma. "He is in the house, nursing a black eye," replied Jinjur, calmly. "The foolish man would insist upon milking the red cow when I wanted him to milk the white one; but he will know better next time, I am sure.

It was the duty of wives to submit to husbands, not of husbands to submit to wives. . . men have stronger muscles than women.

[On husband Phil Donahue:] The man does not know the meaning of the word tidy. He asked me one day, 'Where are my shoes?' So I asked him, 'Where are my shoes?' I don't know what it is about men. They think that women have radar attached to our uteruses.

Husbands are an inferior class of men, who require keeping in order.

Lysistrata: Oh, Calonicé, my heart is on fire; I blush for our sex. Men will have it we are tricky and sly...Calonicé: And they are quite right, upon my word!Lysistrata: Yet, look you, when the women are summoned to meet for a matter of the last importance, they lie abed instead of coming.Calonicé: Oh, they will come, my dear; but 'tis not easy you know, for a woman to leave the house. One is busy pottering about her husband; another is getting the servant up; a third is putting her child asleep or washing the brat or feeding it.

Don't you know, that all wives are in the right? It may be you don't, for you are yet a young husband.

Among fifty percent of your married couples, the husband worries very little about what his wife is doing, provided she is doing all he wishes.

I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

Many young men, when they receive their first wife, are just so untrained. The woman, if she's not careful, will be overbearing and always ask permission for what she wants. And ladies, build up your husband by being submissive. That's how you will give your children success; you will want your children to be obedient, to be submissive to righteous living.

Housekeeping in common is for women the acid test.

That's silly talk... Talk to my wife. She'll tell me I need to learn to just put my socks on the hamper.

I think I’m moody because I’m a woman. I can ask any man in this room, like women are just inherently like, moody or hormonal people. I don’t know how men deal with it. I praise them.

Machismo makes no provision for preparing lunch, doing the laundry, or minding the baby.

Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed.

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.

There's going to be biological differences between the genders. There's going to be biological differences between two women or two men. There's biological differences between all of us. My concern is, why are we so concerned about it? Why are we so worried about it? Why, whenever a study comes out about men do this one way and women do this one way, or men's brains and women's brains - why are we so interested in that? You know, what makes us so fascinated by differences between the sexes? And I think more often than not that interest is deeply embedded in sexism.

Men who marry wives very much superior to themselves are not so truly husbands to their wives as they are unawares made slaves to their position.