Jimmy Carr Quotes

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Kids do say the darndest things

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.

I've always been the goofy kid. Growing up, I always enjoyed the comedic aspect of relating to women. Even on camera, it was always the funny take on it.

When you're a kid, you think you can jump out the window and be okay. But when you get older, you think, "Wait a minute - I can't fly!"

I used to be sure of things. Me, once i had all the answers. I wish i was a kid again, when i had all the answers

Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realize it is far more common for men to turn into rats.

I had a very close relationship with another kid when I was growing up. I was his imaginary friend.

As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

When I was a kid I would write songs, little plays, and poetry in school. If you're an adult and you're a poet, it's all about love and pain, but if you're a kid it's, "Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?"

When I was a little kid I thought like a little kid, but now I'm five I know everything

Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.

Isn't it true that you start your life a sweet child believing in everything under your father's roof? Then comes the day of the Laodiceans, when you know you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, and with the visage of a gruesome grieving ghost you go shuddering through nightmare life.

It's like you said the other day," said Adam. "You grow up readin' about pirates and cowboys and spacemen and stuff, and jus' when you think the world's full of amazin' things, they tell you it's really all dead whales and chopped-down forests and nucular waste hangin' about for millions of years. 'Snot worth growin' up for, if you ask my opinion.

Children are the closest we have to wisdom and they become adults the moment that final drop of everything mysterious is strained from them.

Funny thing about faith ... it goes a lot faster than it comes.

Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.

I... allowed my memory to journey back to the days when I was a boy of ten, full of health and optimism, when my wonder at the great game of living had yet to give way to disillusionment at its shabbiness.

Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again.