Dave Attell Quotes

That was when the world wasn't so big and I could see everywhere. It was when my father was a hero and not a human.

When you're little, your father is your hero. Mine was. Then it all becomes more complicated.

This was not a good idea coming home for Christmas. I'm too old. Years ago, coming back from schools or trips, I always expected some sort of new perspective or fresh insight about the family on returning. That doesn't happen anymore-the days of revelation about my parents, at least, are over... its time to move on. I think we'd all appreciate that.

All sorts of allowances are made for the illusions of youth, and none, or almost none for the disenchantment of age.

I... allowed my memory to journey back to the days when I was a boy of ten, full of health and optimism, when my wonder at the great game of living had yet to give way to disillusionment at its shabbiness.

So childhood too feels good at first, before one happens to notice the terrible sameness, age after age.

What happened when you were twelve?” “Oh, Mom offered to take us all out for dinner—us girls, Dad was out of town—to celebrate, but I didn’t want to. This book I’d been waiting for had just come out, and the only thing I wanted to do was read it all night.” “My God,” I said, touching the top of her nose. “You’re adorable.

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'

What is experience? A poor little hut constructed from the ruins of the palace of gold and marble called our illusions.

Disillusion is the last illusion.

Then I grew up, and the beauty of succulent illusions fell away from me.

In my youth I, too, entertained some illusions; but I soon recovered from them.

That's the thing about being the product of happily marries parents, You grow up thinking the fairy tale is real, and more than that, you think you're entitled to live it. So far, though, it wasn't working out as planned.

Ye who listen with credulity to the whispers of fancy, and pursue with eagerness the phantoms of hope; who expect that age will perform the promises of youth, and that the deficiencies of the present day will be supplied by the morrow, - attend to the history of Rasselas, Prince of Abyssinia.

He wondered whether growing up was learning that most stories turned out to be lies.

Everyone wants to grow up to be a faerie princess. Trust me, It's overrated

Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know her.

The past was but the cemetery of our illusions: one simply stubbed one's toes on the gravestones.

When I was very young every grownup was a hero. It's been all downhill since then, and I have only two left.

No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and take him out and show him the pony.

When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.

The chorus of “Jack and Diane” is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.

I remember, I remember The fir-trees dark and high; I used to think their slender tops Were close against the sky; It was a childish ignorance, But now 't is little joy To know I'm farther off from heaven Than when I was a boy.

I wanted the feeling of romance and the sense of wonder I had known as a kid. I wanted the world to be what they had promised me it was going to be - instead of the tawdry, lousy fouled-up mess it is.