Sid Waddell Quotes

You can't satirise darts, because it's hyper-real as it is; there's already enough over-the-top madness to it.

I've got Ferraris coming out me bum.

My hair is made of actual fire, you guys.

Collin Singleton could no more stay cool than a blue whale could stay skinny or Bangladesh could stay rich

I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.

It allows you to say things that sound very dramatic and get away with it. If you had characters in modern fiction say the same things as they're driving down the street in an Oldsmobile they'd sound ludicrous!

All passions exaggerate; and they are passions only because they do exaggerate.

Hyperbole is something I'd better avoid.

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

I think that as is true in this industry, everything gets blown out of proportion because it's more fun for people to read about. It's even more fun to read about if the stories get wilder and wilder.

Those are my favorite kind of parts to do, just being a goofball and seeing how far you can go with something until you're just way out of line.

Hollywood is the only thing more ridiculous than Silicon Valley. There's nowhere else where it's stranger.

Hyperbole is not easily dealt with. Usually, it collapses under its own weight.

If you're going to be ridiculous, be over-the-top ridiculous.

I love when people overexaggerate. It's so funny to me.

We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared.

I used to have an eBay addiction. I was really good at selling stuff. My sister needed to get to a funeral in Ireland - the airlines were on strike - so I listed her on eBay: damsel in distress. Guys were outbidding guys to be the hero and help her. A guy who owned a helicopter won.

Charge hell with a bucket of water.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

Everything is 'colossalized' - events, fortunes, accidents, climate, conversation, ambitions - everything is in the extreme ... They can't even have a tram run off a line, which in England or France might kill one or two people, without its making a holocaust of half a street full. ... The thing which surprises me is they should still employ animals of normal size; one would expect to see elephants and mammoths drawing the hansoms and carts!

Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone and hospitalized a brick.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

To be without God is to be a snake / who wants to swallow an elephant.

Exaggeration is in the course of things. Nature sends no creature, no man into the world, without adding a small excess of his proper quality. Given the planet, it is still necessary to add the impulse; so, to every creature nature added a little violence of direction in its proper path, a shove to put it on its way; in every instance, a slight generosity, a drop too much.

A hippo sandwich is easy to make. All you do is simply take one slice of bread, one slice of cake, some mayonnaise, one onion ring, one hippopotamus, one piece of string, a dash of pepper. That ought to do it. And now comes the problem... biting into it!