Norton Juster Quotes

Humor is reason gone mad.

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

I have figured for you the distance between the horns of a dilemma, night and day, and A and Z. I have computed how far is Up, how long it takes to get Away, and what becomes of Gone. I have discovered the length of the sea serpent, the price of priceless, and the square of the hippopotamus. I know where you are when you are at Sixes and Sevens, how much Is you have to have to make an Are, and how many birds you can catch with the salt in the ocean - 187,796,132, if it would interest you.

Do not fear being ridiculous in relation to the ridiculous.

We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared.

It is a known fact that the sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies.

A hippo sandwich is easy to make. All you do is simply take one slice of bread, one slice of cake, some mayonnaise, one onion ring, one hippopotamus, one piece of string, a dash of pepper. That ought to do it. And now comes the problem... biting into it!

My hair is made of actual fire, you guys.

Who did you pass on the road?" the King went on, holding out his hand to the Messenger for some more hay. "Nobody," said the Messenger. "Quite right," said the King; "this young lady saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than you." "I do my best," the Messenger said in a sullen tone. "I'm sure nobody walks much faster than I do!" "He can't do that," said the King, "or else he'd have been here first.

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

It is only a step from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Just because a subject is serious doesn't mean it doesn't have plenty of absurdities.

You can't satirise darts, because it's hyper-real as it is; there's already enough over-the-top madness to it.

That's what people forget about, is that when things are very, very powerful in a sad way, they have that possibility of also being over-the-top, hysterically funny.

Some things are so tragic that you don't know what's funny in it, and some things are so ridiculous you don't know if it's worth talking about it.

I love when people overexaggerate. It's so funny to me.

It's so laughable that it's somewhere beyond comedy and right into tragedy again.

There are two ways of dealing with nonsense in this world. One way is to put nonsense in the right place; as when people put nonsense into nursery rhymes. The other is to put nonsense in the wrong place; as when they put it into educational addresses, psychological criticisms, and complaints against nursery rhymes or other normal amusements of mankind.

To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

In a world where everything is ridiculous, nothing can be ridiculed. You cannot unmask a mask.

"I see nobody on the road," said Alice. "I only wish I had such eyes," the King remarked in a fretful tone. "To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance too! Why, it's as much as I can do to see real people, by this light."

Nonexistence. The society of the nonexistent. In the street yesterday a nonexistent person trod on my foot with his nonexistent foot.

The sun was shining on the sea, Shining with all his might: He did his very best to make The billows smooth and bright-- And this was odd, because it was The middle of the night.

I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it.