Mignon McLaughlin Quotes

You always have to make sure your husband knows he isn't going to be replaced.

You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Behind every great man is his wife trying to keep him alive.

A divorcee is a women who got married so she didn't have to work, but now works so she doesn't have to get married.

A man's home is his wife's castle.

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.

The woman’s own choice makes such a man her husband; yet being so chosen, he is her lord, and she is to be subject to him, yet in a way of liberty, not of bondage.

While women prefer to have a higher-earning power, men generally prefer to be the higher-earning partner in a relationship. This simple but profound difference … has powerful consequences for the so-called pay gap. If the pay gap were magically eliminated, … simple arithmetic suggests that half the women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate. The pay gap helps to promote and sustain marriages.

My husband spends the whole day in politics. I make it a point not to discuss politics with him when he comes home.

I think it's fascinating that people take an interest in a middle-aged married couple and what happens behind our closed front door.

I have been married twice, but both of my wives have been too bright to be sucked in by women's lib.

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

I've married a man who owns nine cows," said Jinjur to Ozma, "and now I am happy and contented and willing to lead a quiet life and mind my own business." "Where is your husband?" asked Ozma. "He is in the house, nursing a black eye," replied Jinjur, calmly. "The foolish man would insist upon milking the red cow when I wanted him to milk the white one; but he will know better next time, I am sure.

When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.

A woman usually respects her father, but her view of her husband is mingled with contempt, for she is of course privy to the transparent devices by which she snared him.

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.

A man's world is different from a woman's world and a man's emotions are different from a woman's emotions and only marriage can bring the two different sets of emotions together properly.

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

[On husband Phil Donahue:] The man does not know the meaning of the word tidy. He asked me one day, 'Where are my shoes?' So I asked him, 'Where are my shoes?' I don't know what it is about men. They think that women have radar attached to our uteruses.