Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

Society never made the preposterous demand that a man should think as much about his own qualifications for making a charming girl happy as he thinks of hers for making himself happy.

When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.

It is a fact that all women contribute more to marriage than men; for the most part they have to change their place of living, their method of work, a great many women today changing their occupation entirely on marriage; and they must even change their name.

I think women who don't understand boundaries are fascinating.

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

I've been a tomboy my whole life. But then you get older, you get married, you soften up.

Young women especially have something invested in being nice people, and it's only when you have children that you realise you're not a nice person at all, but generally a selfish bully.

Behind every successful man you'll find a woman who has nothing to wear.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he's not the man she married.

Marriage has changed Himmanshoo in some ways. Throughout our 10 years of courtship, he was more liberal. But after marriage, he has become a typical Indian husband.

If you're considered a beauty, it's hard to be accepted doing anything but standing around.

Understanding the materials I work with... gives me a deeper understanding of my place. And it's helped me make sense of the changes that are happening to me as I grow older.

I never ask my wife about my flaws. Instead I try to get her to ignore them and concentrate on my sense of humor. You don't want any woman to look under the carpet because there's lots of flaws underneath. Joanne believes my character in a film we did together, "Mr. and Mrs. Bridge" comes closest to who I really am. I personally don't think there's one character who comes close... but I learned a long time ago not to disagree on things that I don't have a solid opinion about.

It appears that ordinary men take wives because possession is not possible without marriage, and that ordinary women accept husbands because marriage is not possible without possession

As a woman, you feel like you can change the person, but I don't think that's the way it works.

Woman learns how to hate in proportion as she forgets how to charm.

Many women dress for men before marriage, and for women after marriage.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

Every relationship that does not raise us up pulls us down, and vice versa; this is why men usually sink down somewhat when they take wives while women are usually somewhat raised up. Overly spiritual men require marriage every bit as much as they resist it as bitter medicine.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.

I have three women in the house. I get to be wrong three times a day.

That's the difference between girls and women: Girls find men fascinating. Women know better.

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!