Red Skelton Quotes

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

Just kidding, I've been very athletic all my life.

I'm probably the worst person for 'Men's Health' to interview.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise.

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

I am allergic to sweating. Seriously I get in shape by lying down.

I believe in everything in moderation, including exercise.

I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.

Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.

I get my exercise being a pallbearer for those of my friends who believed in regular running and calisthenics.

Physical fitness is in. I recently had a physical fit myself.

I don't exercise. My philosophy is: No pain, no pain.

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

There's nothing like watching Dr. Oz and working out at the same time; you feel like you're the healthiest human being on the planet.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

I might do a fitness video. Actually, more of a fatness video.

I love swimming, tennis, and I am taking up golf. I am not serious about it, I just go to the range and practice. Other than that, I enjoy going to the movies and hanging out with my friends.

You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.

I'll speak for myself, but there's a lot of humor to be found in sarcasm and darkness. You talk to any paramedic, they survive by developing a pretty off-kilter sense of humor.

Actually, I am a golfer. That is my real occupation. I never was an actor. Ask anybody, particularly the critics.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.