Chauncey Depew Quotes

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

I get my exercise being a pallbearer for those of my friends who believed in regular running and calisthenics.

I'm never going to be fat - never again. I'm going to make it easy on my pallbearers.

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

I remember burying a girl fourteen years of age who had died with a ruptured appendix... I buried a good many people that I knew, some of whom I loved.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Just kidding, I've been very athletic all my life.

You're in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.

My dad died of a stroke.

I have nothing against undertakers personally. It's just that I wouldn't want one to bury my sister.

I think I've become more aware of aging in the last couple of years because of friends dying of cancer or friends' parents dying and myself - I'm still healthy, but I'm aging, and that's something that I think about more, even though I shouldn't be too concerned.

For a culture that has such a problem with death, we seem to deal with it in a quite bizarre way. We see people shot, killed and blown up, and we find it funny and sexy and all those things. But, the reality of it is that every day people die, and people are really sad and they grieve and they go through a really difficult process with it.

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

Death is not my best subject.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

I am allergic to sweating. Seriously I get in shape by lying down.

I believe in everything in moderation, including exercise.

Low on his funeral couch he lies!

Then, with an enormous rush of meadow-filled wind, the green candle went out, and my best friend died.

When the friends we love the best Lie in their churchyard bed, We must not cry too bitterly Over the happy dead.

sometimes there's nothing to say about death.

I don't exercise. My philosophy is: No pain, no pain.