Shelley Berman Quotes

A hotel is a hotel all the world over, a place essentially vulgar, commonplace, venal, the travesty of a human home.

I grew up in the motel business, and it evolved into hotels.

Isn't this a wonderful country? I was in Florida. I'm staying at a motel called the Three Palms. It's run by a middle-aged couple, one of whom is missing a hand. OK! That's what I thought, too! But they got upset when I asked.

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.

A hotel, he told me, was a big house where a lot of people lived and ate and slept, but no one knew each other. He said that described most families in the outside world.

My business partner Robert De Niro knows a lot about hotels; he opened the Greenwich Hotel in New York City.

If you're a person who says yes most of the time, you'll find yourself in the hotel business and the restaurant business.

A hotel isn't like a home, but it's better than being a house guest.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

I've never stayed at a bed and breakfast. If I did, I figure you would start to get hungry! "Is that all you got around here? Well, maybe you can direct me to a chair lunch dinner."

As my good friend Al Capp told me a few years ago, the best thing to do with a confirmed [hotel] reservation slip when you have no room is to spread it out on the sidewalk in front of the hotel and go to sleep on it. You'll either embarrass the hotel into giving you a room or you'll be hauled off to the local jug, where at least you'll have a roof over your head.

I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.

The business of entertainment is business first. I do a comic strip; the job, the business, is to be funny. If I’m not funny, the politics don’t matter, because no one will read it.

I grew up watching my mom and dad selling rooms in our motels. We had CEOs coming to our house so that my dad could persuade them to have their executives stay in Hyatt hotels.

My father had a hotel, and people in show business used to stay there. He loved peformers and entertainment, and I grew up knowing that.

The hotel industry is a very modern invention - it only really started to become branded in the 1950s.

I used to work in hotels and have very fond memories.

I have never been in a hotel - from the two-star types all the way to five-star - that does not have a gym.

No hotels have gone out of business because of Airbnb... Airbnb is not a perfect substitute for a hotel. We excel at different things.

My father is a hotelier in Karnataka. There're no actors in my family.

In New York, lights are on the whole night; there are offices where not a single person is working, but all lights are on. The street lights at the White House are lit all the day. Why? And we are being told not to use coal.

Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.