Flatulence Quotes

If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like - you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.

I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

Flatulence peaks twice a day... five hours after lunch and five hours after dinner.

Fart jokes still work for me.

And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart.

The sign read MOUSE PASS GAS Frank: "That's wrong

I make the same noise after I eat too much as I do after I work out.

Nothing makes me laugh more than farting.

[To Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford, on his return from self-imposed exile, occasioned by the embarrassing flatulence he had experienced in the presence of the Queen:] My Lord, I had forgot the fart.

The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)

I'm not a big burper. It's not easy for me to do.

When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

Harriet Jones: Did you notice when they fart, if you'll pardon the word, it doesn't just smell like a fart, if you'll pardon the word, it's something else. What is it? It's more like, um... Rose Tyler: Bad breath. Harriet Jones: That's it! The Doctor: Calcium decay. Now that Narrows it down!.. Calcium phosphate. Organic calcium. Living calcium. Creatures made out of living calcium. What else - what else? Hyphenated surnames. Yes! That narrows it down to one planet! Raxacoricofallapatorius! Mickey Smith: [sarcastically] Oh yeah, great! We can write 'em a letter.

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

Hitler suffered acutely from meteorism; perhaps he did not suffer so acutely as those around him, since meteorism is uncontrolled farting, a condition exacerbated by Hitler's strictly vegetarian diet.

You could smell my ass from mars.

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.

How about this, have you ever farted so hard you shivered?

If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

I can make the best fart noises. I can make, like, 10 different sounds at different levels.

Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet.

I think a lot of times dreams are nothing more than a kind of mental or spiritual flatulence. They're a way of relieving pressure.