Flatulence peaks twice a day... five hours after lunch and five hours after dinner.
Nobody makes a turd like that and lives.
I could have had a session of defecography, which is a diagnostic test in which X-rays are taken to assess anatomical problems occurring during the process of defecation. I gave it the briefest of thoughts before recognizing that this is beyond the pale - even for me.
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
How about this, have you ever farted so hard you shivered?
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.
I suffer from IBS so I'm severely constipated at all times.
The type of IBS I am prone to is the constipation type, where I get trapped wind and can get sharp painful spasms in my intestines as well as having sluggish bowels.
I always have to poop right before I do a concert. I don't feel nervous, but I think that must be my body reacting.
Raids are slightly constipating.
I almost shat my pants. Literally, the floor was almost covered in my shat.
If one's bowels move, one is happy, and if they don't move, one is unhappy. That is all there is to it.
I just want to be more regular.
Playing onstage, I'm always aware of where the bathrooms are. When Crohn's hits, I have to run, or it won't be pretty.
To be honest, bread constipates me, and I like to have my daily bowel movement.
Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated.
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
There is an inverse correlation between the cleanliness of a bathroom and my 3-year-old daughter's need to move her bowels.
Your job today is to pass gas. You do that and we can start feeding you liquids. No fart, no food.
