Mitch Hedberg Quotes

The cloud has become the next-generation supercomputer, and the smartphone has provided the revolution to spur its use.

I think everybody understands how important the cloud is.

First of all, we have infrastructure as a service, which Amazon has; we have platform as a service, which Microsoft has; we have software as a service; we have applications. Nobody has everything except us. We also have data as a service.

This whole cloud phenomenon is gaining steam pretty rapidly, and it's really become a strategic imperative for people.

I am convinced that as we move more towards cloud services, there is going to be a greater need for connectivity.

The enterprise cloud is a very secure cloud at this point.

If we as a society do not understand 'the cloud,' in all its aspects - what data it holds, how it works, what the bargains are we make as we engage with it, we'll all be the poorer for it, I believe.

I have to admit it: I'm not a huge fan of the cloud computing concept.

Our goal with the cloud is to make sure that our cloud and our cloud applications are available on every device in the world.

Apple very deliberately - and this was very much Steve Jobs' point of view - Apple has concentrated its cloud efforts on being invisible. So in other words, stuff just would sync and appear. You change your contacts on one of your devices, and it would appear on all your devices changed.

We have, of course, all of our Oracle technologies in our cloud. But I don't think you're going to see customers wanting to deal with 50 clouds or 40 clouds or anything like that.

There's nothing slowing down about the shift to the cloud. I don't see anything on the horizon that is changing that.

The beautiful part of the cloud is, you know, it's unlimited capacity, in theory.

Every customer wants to run on all the clouds.

I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'

Choose a firm cloud before it fall, and in it Catch, ere she change, the Cynthia of this minute.

I really worry about everything going to the cloud.

I have a beard. Just not on my face.

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?