Dennis Miller Quotes

We implicitly or explicitly ration health care no matter what we do.

The fundamental problem of society is that demands are infinite and resources are always limited

The number of people who are actual supporters of Mr. Romney could very well be less than the Donner Party, whose members they sadly resemble in many ways.

I am the gold standard for liberal bile!

I hear these people saying [Barack Obama]'s like George Bush. Those people ought to be drug tested. I mean, it's crazy.

George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in 'Dancing with the Stars.'

There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W. Bush. But when that day comes, all we're going to have are tired puns and goofy looks. Because as you would say, we're suffering from the soft bigotry of low expectorations.

The less money and time you have, the more you haveto plan ahead and be careful about your coverage. It's like a gas:it expands or contracts depending on the size of the container.

Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year trying to do jokes about Mitt Romney.

Democracy is a very admirable form of government - for dogs

I do not know of any divine commands. I do know of most important human ones. I do not know the needs of a god or of another world. . . . I do know that women make shirts for seventy cents a dozen in this one. I do know that the needs of humanity and this world are infinite unending constant and immediate. They will take all our time our strength our love and our thoughts; and our work here will be only then begun.

Politicians need human misery. ... Government's a disease masquerading as its own cure.

I would guess it didn't exactly represent a profile in courage for the vice president to wander over there to the F-word network for a sit down with Brit Hume. I mean, that's a little like Bonnie interviewing Clyde, ain't it?

I hope you're all Republicans.

The school is a political prize of the highest importance. It cannot be deprived of its political character as long as it remains a public and compulsory institution.

I love Starship Troopers. That's really smart. I think he really could portray fascism in a comedic way. It's funny because both José [Padilha] and [Paul] Verhoeven were accused of being fascists for their movies because they had fascist leads. So, it's not going to have his tone, but there's going to be political satire in it.

When it comes to trying to manage how our entire planet-wide market and all the people and businesses in it deal with nature and our natural resources - we first and foremost need to change the incentives.

It is contrary to our principles to multiply organizations, since, in all conscience, there are enough of them. And when organizations are created they need individuals to look after them.

The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the environment; Dole said that if there was just some way this could interfere with people's sex lives, it would be perfect legislation.

I have more important things to do anyway. I have a hangnail that needs my attention. (Dev)

I found that it was all right to have Martians saying things Democrats and Republicans could never say.

Oh, how I wish that Orwell were still alive, so that I could read his comments on contemporary events!

You'll never make America great again, [Donald] Trump, but you can extend her time.