DICK VAN DYKE

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

I married somebody half my age, and everybody thought I was crazy, but she is just an absolute angel.

I never wanted to be an actor, and to this day I don't. I can't get a handle on it. An actor wants to become someone else. I am a song-and-dance man, and I enjoy being myself, which is all I can do.

I wanted to be Stan Laurel, then I wanted to be Fred Astaire and then Captain Kangaroo. I actually started out as a radio announcer when I was 17 and never left the business, so that's literally 70 years.

My wife, as proud as she was of me, hated show business for good reasons. There was something about the spouse always being pushed out of the way, shoved aside. She wanted to get away from it.

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're denying that they are addicted, say it's stress this, it's this, it's that. But I - it's - I think - I really believe there is a gene. Some people become addicted and others don't.

I can't work with my brother without laughing.

I've won several Emmys, a Tony and a Grammy, so maybe somebody will let me have an Oscar, and then I'll have a full set.

The secret to keeping moving is keeping moving.

I went from my mother to my wife. And to this day, I can't bear to be alone.

In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living.

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late '40s. And just through necessity, going out looking for work, I was starting to sing, and dance, and act, and I never expected to do that, nor to have any success at it at least.

I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But our main problem is our audience skews a little older than most shows, and I don't think our people can stay up that late. I certainly can't.

Oh, I had an idea for a pilot of my own at the time, and then Carl sent me about eight scripts and simply I threw my idea out the window because the writing was just so good.

I never made a good movie.

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and Laura were really married in real life. You know, a lot of people believed that.

I don't have any children; I have four middle-aged people.

I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know.

There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.

I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show.

I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind.