Jean Chatzky Quotes

April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

As artists, we are blessed to be able to make money but, on the same note, are held accountable for our federal tax obligations just like everyone else.

Tax Day is often a source of frustration for taxpayers, so anything that can make the process less painful is appreciated.

A common man, even like myself, I don't know how to pay my taxes.

I don't know what to do or where to turn in this taxation matter. Somewhere there must be a book that tells all about it, where I could go to straighten it out in my mind. But I don't know where the book is, and maybe I couldn't read it if I found it.

I can't make a damn thing out of this tax problem. I listen to one side and they seem right—and then I talk to the other side and they seem just as right, and here I am where I started. God, what a job!

Tax season always means a deluge of tax advice. Unfortunately, most of it is futile and lightweight.

I do my taxes. I do my own bookkeeping. I pay rent.

I am not going to fiddle taxes. I pay my accountant a fortune to look after me.

Americans spend 3 billion hours per year filling out tax forms and keeping tax records.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

While tax refunds amount to substantial income for many Americans, current IRS rules do not allow taxpayers to directly deposit their refund into more than one account.

[Addressing a young aide:] You have a college education, haven't you? I don't know what to do or where to turn in this taxation matter. Somewhere there must be a book that tells all about it, but I don't know where that book is, and maybe I couldn't read it if I found it!

We all have to pay our bills. We all have to pay our taxes. Straight up.

If I have to do my tax online, the government should pay for my Internet hook-up, darling.

I mean I imagine I could have done a better job with keeping my paperwork and paying my taxes. For the most part, everything happened exactly the way it should.

You grow up, no one really teaches you about taxes, especially as an athlete.

Wrestling is a lot like any other workplace. You don't really talk religion or politics. But we are all independent contractors, so we pay our taxes quarterly. And we talk about taxes.

Most people don't realize the amount of tax forms the small business guy has to go through.

It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.

I got IRS records to finance what I wanted to do.

I used to do my own taxes. You know how you buy that gigantic sheet at Staples, add up the restaurants, clothes, and taxis and glue your receipts into the book month by month? The more money I made, the more complicated things got.

An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

I can assure you that my wife and I - every penny of income we've ever had, our taxes were paid in West Virginia.