Tax Filing Quotes

The income tax has spawned an intrusive bureaucracy, creating so much complexity and red tape that millions of ordinary citizens have to go get some accountant to fill out the forms for them - and then sign under penalty of perjury that it was done right. If you knew how to do it right, you wouldn't have to go to somebody else to have it done, would you?

A common man, even like myself, I don't know how to pay my taxes.

I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics.

Families will now have to prove to the IRS that they have Washington-approved and government-mandated insurance.

I'll bring my tax returns; you bring yours. I'll meet you anytime anywhere.

Taxpayers should not be coerced into giving up their privacy rights just to file their taxes.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

There's just one thing I can't figure out. My income tax!

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.

Every good citizen should be willing to devote a brief time during some one day in the year, when necessary, to the making up of a listing of his income for taxes to contribute to his Government, not the scriptural tithe, but a small percentage of his net profits.

Most people don't realize the amount of tax forms the small business guy has to go through.

It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

We want to go back to a tax system where Americans sit down at their kitchen table, and they do their taxes on a single sheet of paper. That's what we should have in this America.

April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

Anyone who's ever filed a tax return or visited the Department of Motor Vehicles understands that government does two things well: spend our money and waste our time.

I made baseball as much fun as doing your taxes!

It's April 15, tax day. The federal tax code is over 74,000 pages long. But stick with it because after page 72,000, it gets really good.

As artists, we are blessed to be able to make money but, on the same note, are held accountable for our federal tax obligations just like everyone else.

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq

Broaden the tax base, close loopholes and flatten the tax rates - all of which would bring more revenue stability and certitude to projections as well as make filing a comparable breeze.

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.

More than half of all people filing income tax forms use someone else to prepare the forms for them. Then they have to sign under penalty of perjury that these forms are correct. But if they were competent to determine that, why would they have to pay someone else to do their taxes for them in the first place?

I want to specify that I pay my own taxes in France, for all my income.

The flat tax would be so simple, you could fill it out on a post card. A post card that would say, in effect, having a wonderful time; glad most of my money is here.