Paul F. Tompkins Quotes

People go, 'Oh, Trump must be good for comedy,' and I go, 'Ehhh.'

[If Donald Trump does get elected, I will be] probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I don't know. I'll probably end up working in the cafeteria.

The reason I wrote political satire was because I thought it - politics - was important... that public policy was important. Then I transitioned into books, then into radio.

When I was at 'SNL,' I would constantly get in arguments, 'Why aren't we more political? We're not going after Bush.' Then look what happened - that Sarah Palin season, they were on fire. It was about something.

You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we're fundits! We're not pundits!

The public wants a solemn ass as a President. And I think I'll go along with them.

I've been making fun of Donald Trump - we all have - for 10 years, and just bringing up his name... I mean, even if you're supportive of Donald Trump, there's still a lot to make fun of.

I'm not going to respond to every single thing that Donald Trump has to say or that Hillary Clinton says.

Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, 'The Elephant in the Room.' And People magazine named him 'Sexiest Garbage Truck in a Suit.'

Absolutely I'm going to be talking about it, because it's in the zeitgeist and it's happening. It's an election year. It's the biggest election. Every election is a big election, so whenever anybody says that it kinds of grates me, but it's a fiasco. It's turned into a complete circus act, so of course you have to make fun of it, but responsible journalists definitely are being irresponsible. They're giving [Donald Trump] so much air time.

I devised the Bert Lance Toe Test then - you go out on the front porch of the house, turn 'The Washington Post' over with your big toe, and if your name's above the fold, you know you're not going to have a good day.

Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke.

I'm not a political comic.

When I look at public opinion, I'm not far out of the mainstream. I'm in it, in many respects. In some respects, public opinion goes beyond anything I've ever said.

I think we give too much importance to artists talking about the art and the film and the books and the plays and the music - it's done; the material is there. But we talk about it because it's part of the game. I'm comfortable with it.

For me, Melania represents America. We're all reluctantly married to Donald Trump now. She is a vehicle to making fun of him. I can't do a Donald Trump impersonation, but I can impersonate her.

We've always been interested in the commentary on politics and society and how comedy always sort of cuts that with a nice laugh, and the perspective it brings.

If I say 'political comedian,' then people think you're talking about you, the Senate and Congress, and what's going on in Washington D.C. If I say 'comedian,' people automatically assume that you're a comedian who talks about how his wife won't listen to him and that dummy down at the mechanic who wouldn't fix his car.

Mr. Trump, I really can't comment, because he was my boss on 'Celebrity Apprentice,' and I just don't think we should let him be president until he produces evidence that the thing on his head is real. Because he wanted to see Obama's birth certificate, we should ask for a certificate of real hair.

We welcome Donald Trump at 'Hamilton,' absolutely.

The topic of Sarah Palin has been open season to the media, entertainment industry, and club comics alike.

My least favorite joke right now is Donald Trump.

I feel like a lot of the guys who are trying to do political or socially relevant humor just haven't figured out who the enemy is.

I stay far away from political humor.

If the front-page news is a comedian doing a joke that people think is naughty, that proves there's no real news that day, does it not?