Mark Twain Quotes

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws.

You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

Better a tooth out than always aching.

Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to 'life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.'

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game.

I was never afraid of anything in the world except the dentist.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

I've knocked my front teeth out. I've got fake front teeth.

I've had all my teeth replaced with solid gold replicas of the originals.

I've had dentists who have wanted to help me out, but I say, 'You know, I won't work again if you fix my teeth.'

In general, life is better than it has ever been, and if you think that, in the past, there was some golden age of pleasure and plenty to which you would, if you were able, transport yourself, let me say one single word : Dentistry.

I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.

My dear Algy, you talk exactly as if you were a dentist. It is very vulgar to talk like a dentist when one isn't a dentist. It produces false impression

No woman is a heroine to her dentist.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Dentistry is more impressive in town-what the rural man calls cleaning the teeth is called "prophylaxis" in New York.

A dentist is only half the doctor he claims to be.

Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards

I got rid of my teeth at a young age because I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them.

I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she's laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.

My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.

You know it's time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.

Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.

I masturbate. A lot. And yet, I don't floss because it's too much of a hassle. Ten seconds of joy over a lifetime of tooth decay, that's what I've chosen.