Greg Fitzsimmons Quotes

I told you, sir, they were red-hot with drinking; so full of valor that they smote the air, for breathing in their faces, beat the ground for kissing of their feet.

We came down here to see this teddible scene: people all pissed out of their minds and vomiting on themselves and all that and now, you know what? It's us

I'd go and get really drunk somewhere ... in the street. Pass out somewhere and sleep in the gutter.

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

I have been known to hang out and party back in the day. I had a weekend that lasted a few years.

Every few years I'll party way too much to remind myself what an idiot I am.

I kept my head; I mean, I've never been one of those people who ended up in the gutter with sick in my hair.

This government can't afford two drunkards. You've got to stop.

I drank too much, only champagne.

God,” I moaned. “Do they use that stuff as rocket fuel?” “No one made you keep drinking it.” “Hey, don’t get preachy. Besides, I had to be polite.” “Sure,” she said.

I'll drink your champagne. I'll drink every drop of it, I don't care if it kills me.

The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.

There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.

I had to stop drinking alcohol, because I used to wake up nude in front of my car with my keys in my ass.

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

I used to love slapping people in the face when I was drunk. I thought it was really funny, so I did a lot of that. I'd pick fights with doormen and bouncers and stuff a lot. Ex-boyfriends. But nobody ever punched me back, so I don't know if that counts as a physical fight.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

I spent so much of my younger life drinking, and being drunk makes learning to be a grown-up kind of hard.

Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.

There is no night life in Spain. They stay up late but they get up late. That is not night life. That is delaying the day. Night life is when you get up with a hangover in the morning. Night life is when everybody says what the hell and you do not remember who paid the bill. Night life goes round and round and you look at the wall to make it stop. Night life comes out of a bottle and goes into a jar. If you think how much are the drinks it is not night life.

I'm on a 24 hour champagne diet. Spillin while I'm sippin I encourage you to try it.

Among the small number of things that I have liked and known how to do well, what I have assuredly known how to do best is drink. Even though I have read a lot, I have drunk even more. I have written much less than most people who write; but I have drunk much more than most people who drink.

Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.