Drunken Behavior Quotes

I'm too drunk to recall much of what I've said. Which, come to think of it, is probably just as well, judging by the way people who are normally quite sensible dissolve into gibbering, rude, opinionated and bombastic idiots once the alcohol molecules in their bloom-stream outnumber the neutrons, or whatever. Luckily, one only notices this if one stays sober oneself, so the solution is as pleasant (at the time, at least) as it is obvious.

On our way home we were waiting for the bus when a very fat, pompous-looking woman reeled out of a pub shouting, "Melancholia? Ad nauseam."

It's sort of cliche, but when you're playing drunk, your character is trying to appear sober.

You can vibe out when people are getting tired or they're too drunk to keep going along with.

Joe McCarthy was the local town drunk in a business suit.

Don't be getting sloppy drunk and telling them dirty jokes.

Bottled, was he?" Said Colonel Bantry, with an Englishman's sympathy for alcoholic excess. "Oh, well, can't judge a fellow by what he does when he's drunk? When I was at Cambridge, I remember I put a certain utensil - well - well, nevermind.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

When you have too many beers, you become like a control freak on everything.

Wine sets even a thoughtful man to singing, or sets him into softly laughing, sets him to dancing. Sometimes it tosses out a word that was better unspoken.

It's always difficult to make conversation with a drunk, and there's no denying it, the sober are at a disadvantage with him.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

What does drunkenness accomplish? It discloses secrets, it ratifies hopes, and urges even the unarmed to battle.

There are people who have an image of me as being rude and inconsiderate. But I'm completely the opposite, because I was raised not to be. I might have been tripping over myself drunk, but I was always courteous.

When I get really hammered I take my clothes off. That's a sure sign. It's been a long time since the last time I did that. Probably a year.

Yeah, she was hitting me hard. She was drunk and she was hitting me hard.

He who quarrels with a drunken man injures one who is absent.

I would say about 90 per cent of drunken idiots in comedy clubs wear ties, particularly in London where I work most of the time.

People have different personalities when they're drunk or take heroin, or whatever drugs.

Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart.

If you're stumbling out of a bar, and people tweet about it, well, don't be dumb. If you're going to get falling-down drunk, stay at home - which I did a lot of.

There's the really angry drunk, who's just annoying to be around. I prefer the drunk who falls all over the place and is being completely inappropriate. Or the super-loud, happy drunk, which is evidentially what I am.

The young are heated by Nature as drunken men by wine.