Dirty Jokes Quotes

I'm not intentionally dirty. It just kind of happens. It's not like I'm a shock comic who's looking to walk people.

I don't really know what 'selling out' is exactly. I would sell out if I could, but nobody's buying it. I would love to go mainstream, but my comedy is too edgy. It's always too dirty. It's always too filthy. I'm dying to sell out. But I love doing comedy, I love touring, and I think I would do everything for free.

I'm a dirty, filthy animal and I'm a dirty comedian, but I got a lot of charisma and charm.

I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.

Don't be getting sloppy drunk and telling them dirty jokes.

Stay out of the gutter in your conversation. Foul talk defiles the man who speaks it... Don't swear. Don't profane. Avoid so-called dirty jokes. Stay away from conversation that is sprinkled with foul and filthy words. You will be happier if you do so, and your example will give strength to others.

A premium is sometimes put on impropriety of conduct on the women’s part by the foreman. That is, a woman who will submit or respond to his course jokes and language and evil behaviour receives more work than the woman who feels and shows herself insulted by such conduct, and wishes to preserve her self-respect. The pittance earned by some of these women is earned at the expense of more than only hard toil. Even when this coarseness is confined to language only, it causes deep suffering to some of the women. They feel, they know, that because they are women and therefore regarded as helpless and inferior, they are spoken to as men are not spoken to, and the sting enters their souls.

Yeah when you're in the middle of filming this movie [Bad Santa 2] it doesn't matter what you say you can think of some sort of way to twist it into something dirty so we were laughing a lot.

I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest.

I've always had a bawdy sense of humor. My father was a traveling salesman and he would bring jokes home. He would say, "Honey, you can take this one to school, but you can't take that one to school."

I want to make sure that people know that I can only be myself - I can't be a spokesperson for people with disabilities, because everybody has a completely different experience. I'm glad that I'm able to inspire parents to see one way to deal with it, but at the same time, I tell a lot of dirty jokes.

I've never been a dirty comic.

Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.

Reagan was an exceedingly likeable guy, just a heck of a nice fellow, despite his politics. He was funny and loved a good joke, the dirtier, I'm afraid the more ethnic, the better. I don't think he brought very much to the presidency, except charisma and success.

If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'

I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.

One famous movie executive, who shall remain nameless, exposed himself to me in his office. 'Mr X,' I said, 'I thought you were a producer, not an exhibitor.'

Standup is just dirtier, a far more risque kind of thing.