Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

This golfer has a wicked slice. And quite a follow-through. That's why his partner, who stood too close, Is on the green in two.

I need poise. I'm just so clumsy that it would kind of save me a lot.

I was playing baseball, and I tripped over first base - I'm very clumsy - and I fell and broke my wrist. That was pretty painful.

Oh, gosh, okay... well, my biggest injury was probably a bone chip in my ankle that required surgery.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Even now with the operation, with the damage done, my ankle probably is never going to be back to 100 per cent.

In Scotland, I have a huge barn full of woodworking tools. I love working with my hands. I basically just make myself bleed a lot. I'm very accident-prone.

I played with high ankle sprains.

I got into a car accident and couldn't play baseball, hockey, and basketball. We stuck with golf for a little while, and it's panned out. I think it was a blessing in disguise.

The golf bag hurts my shoulder too much; I prefer to play football.

When I'm not focused, I'm quite possibly one of the more clumsy people on the planet. I'll walk into doorways and coffee tables.

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

You'd think I walk around with my eyes shut, banging off the walls.

The doctor looked at it after the game and he thought it didn't look too bad, but we'll see what happens. My skate got caught and I twisted it. I heard it twist and I couldn't get up. All my body weight fell on it. I had to be really hurt to leave the game - we were still in the game at that point.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

Bruises mapped my body from bumping into tables and tripping over curbs while walking with a book in my hand, my eyes focused on the pages instead of the live space around me.

Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me - ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness.

Yes I think I'm okay, walked into the door again.

I spill water on myself all the time at nice restaurants. I've run into poles and knocked myself out.

A story went the rounds about a San Franciscan white matron who refused to sit beside a Negro civilian on the streetcar, even after he made room for her on the seat. Her explanation was that she would not sit beside a draft dodger who was a Negro as well. She added that the least he could do was fight for his country the way her son was fighting on Iwo Jima. The story said that the man pulled his body away from the window to show an armless sleeve. He said quietly and with great dignity, "Then ask your son to look around for my arm, which I left over there.

You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.

My first season Butch Bouchard accidentally sent me to the hospital for three days with a concussion, but I never backed away from Butch or anyone else after I came back.

People say I'm injury-prone but that's definitely not true.

My golf game's gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake.

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!