George Jean Nathan Quotes

For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

I married beneath me—all women do.

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

To me, Stephen was my husband and the father of my children; one does not say to one's husband, 'Oh, you're so clever! I must worship the ground under your feet, or in this case, wheels.'

The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

Married men are horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably conceited when they are not.

I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it.

It's axiomatic that all husbands are impossible. But I also think it's axiomatic that women are slightly impossible.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

I'm a big wuss, and not the king in the least. My wife is.

I introduce her as the love of my life everywhere that we go. She introduces me as her current husband. So you can see how the relationship kinda works here.

I'm 5 feet 3, but I was 6 feet 4 when I married Ava.

People make assumptions when you're not married. I've been best man at five weddings and I said I'd never do it again 'cos everyone got divorced.

If you're engaged more than a year, there's something up. There's lot of debate as to whether one should or shouldn't get married, but when you get engaged, it's a promise to get married, and if you don't just do it within a year, one of the parties is using the excuse of, like, 'I can't find the right venue' to put off the wedding.

Literally, my honeymoon was driving to Chicago.

Wedding dress shopping is basically like dating. You pick the one based on how you feel.

The only question a girl can ask herself when their husband chooses to see '27 Dresses' is this: What on earth has he done?

The jobs don't get married. The people get married.

if you get married they think you're finished and if you are without a woman they think you're incomplete.

I don't understand why it's more socially acceptable to say that you are a shallow person than to just say this is not something you want to do. Especially because it's a really hard job. It's a really important job. And why the hell should you do a really hard, important job that you don't want to do? That has extremely high stakes? That just blows my mind.

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.