Brian Kilmeade Quotes

I'm more one of those people you laugh at and not with. I'm not the one with the jokes, I'm the one who falls on her face going up a flight of steps.

I'm very unphysical and graceless so basically if you save 10 people to be with you in a resistance movement, you would never save me. I'd be the last one.

I'm a terrible dancer. The worst.

I know I can't dance. I am the worst dancer. I have no rhythm. I just do step-and-snap. I love it in the privacy of my own home and every once in a while at a club. But singing and dancing are my two greatest fears.

Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.

I'm a pretty goofy person. I'm an awkward dancer, for instance, and a terrible singer.

I'm a terrible dancer.

The dueling maturity levels in high school is such a source of comedy to me. I was always such a late developer. I was last to walk. I was last to ride a bike. I was last to have sex. That's why it's fun to portray one side of your childhood onscreen.

I'm very much in denial that I can't dance. I really go for it, which is almost more embarrassing.

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.

I've always been insecure about dancing. I was when I was in high school.

I am a walking joke.

Although I married a sports-loving jock, I myself am not only not athletic, I am acutely, completely uncoordinated.

I never even was in any of my high school plays. I mean, look at me. What role could they give me - the tooth fairy?

I had my own insecurities, which a lot of my comedy would come from, about not being able to live up to their academic expectations. Acting out those insecurities was a way of confronting them, like, “Let me just lean into being a guy who can’t read or write.”

I don't consider myself a nerd; I consider myself a dork more. I'm closer to a dork, if anything, just because I'm not good at stuff. I'm more like a failed non-nerd.

Sometimes the stuff I come up with is so silly I feel like I need to apologize at the end of every one of them.

We're not all Jon Stewart. I know I'm not. I dropped out of college. Why would you come to me for anything that may influence your fact-based perspective? I think that the job of a comic is to be emotionally true.

I was born with two left feet.

Probably one of the reasons I became a comedian is that you get a chance to control when people laugh at you.

I first got involved in soccer when I was three years old. And I played until I was sixteen, so for thirteen years, and I love it.

If there's a photo of a roomful of kids I'm the one with the biggest smile or my hand over my face.

I am a bad dancer.

My friends make me laugh: funny Instagram videos, but mostly people falling over. It's so bad, but it never gets old. I just love how people cover up their falls. The whole experience of 'Oh, I just fell, and I'm going to run out of the fall and pretend I did this on purpose.' I just like to see how people cover up their mishaps.

We did make fools of ourselves, but people were into it.