Doug Stanhope Quotes

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

I never wanted to do political satire because it seems too surface to me.

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

I'm a politician, and as you know, politicians are rarely very funny.

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

For me, my party views don't advance my narrative. Until I can find a way to write political satire like my idols Christopher Buckley or P.J. O'Rourke, I'll simply say what team I play for and leave it at that.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.

You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we're fundits! We're not pundits!

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Whoever's president I'm not going to be short on material.

We all joke about Bush. You go to a meeting and just say “Bush” and everyone will laugh.

In a weird way, our satirists probably have the most complicated, nuanced views of our politics now - Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver. I don't know what that says about our country.

I think politics is extremely funny in and of itself.

People go, 'Oh, Trump must be good for comedy,' and I go, 'Ehhh.'

If I had a choice, I would rather watch a comedian not involve themselves in politics at all but be hilarious than someone who doesn't really know what they're talking about getting on their soapbox and complaining.

I stay far away from political humor.

Sarah Palin gave a speech in South Korea. Just what the Koreans needed: Two crazy dictators in fashionable lady's glasses.

One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. 'There they are,' I said. 'See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.'

The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass...and, by god, today they went in and looked for it... They didn't find it. So now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "success" in the same sentence.

As for George Bush of Kennebunkport, Maine- personally I think he's further evidence that the Great Scriptwriter in the Sky has an overdeveloped sense of irony.

Wit puts politicians at risk.

I was home alone watching George Bush speak on television. So it was just really the two of us. And as I listened to him, I realized, that one of us... was nuts! And for the first time ever, I went, 'Wow, it's not me!'

I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.

The president already has a Nobel Prize for peace. I think he's shooting for one in fiction.