DAN QUAYLE

Most of us pay some sort of price for screwing up. Quayle never has. His high school guidance counselor told him his grades were too low for admission to DePauw University, where his grandfather was a trustee and major donor, but he got in anyway. In college he flunked the departmental exam that was supposed to be a prerequisite to graduation, but he graduated anyway. Although it was 1969, the height of the Vietnam War, a year when more than a quarter million young men were drafted and other Indianans were being told it would take years to get into the National Guard, Quayle landed a spot in a week flat, after a retired Guard general who worked for his family made a call on his behalf. Quayle was rejected by Indiana University Law School, but he got in anyway- under an affirmative action program, after he visited the dean of admissions, a Republican judge in a city (Indianapolis) where Quayle’s grandfather owned the newspaper. (Soon thereafter, the grandfather made a large contribution to the law school.) Quayle was indifferent law student, but he got a job in the state attorney general’s office anyway. (His father made a few calls.) He was a twenty-nine year old employee of his father’s paper, but he got elected to Congress anyway, with the help of the paper and his own good looks. He was a poor congressman, but he got elected to Senate anyway, in the 1980 Reagan landslide. Two years later the DePauw faculty voted against giving him an honorary degree, but he got it anyway. He was a mediocre senator, but Bush put him on the national ticket anyway. He blew the debate, but he’ll probably be elected vice president anyway. At this rate he’ll be president by cherry blossom time.

Senator and Mrs. Birch Bayh have slashed the price of their Potomac [MD] home to way below market. They haven't been so beaten down since Dan Quayle did it to 'em in 1980.

I served with Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy.

He is still the object of national ridicule ... nothing about him rises above the ordinary.

If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking, "Do you want fries with that?

I don't know why the Vice President thinks Mario Cuomo and I are members of the cultural elite. Maybe its because we both know how to spell potato.

Dan Quayle is not a crisis manager. He's a crisis that needs to be managed.

If the Vice President thinks its disgraceful for an unmarried woman to bear a child, and if he believes that a woman cannot adequately raise a child without a father, then he'd better make sure abortion remains safe and legal.

Vice President Quayle has been the object of too much attention that does not flatter him.

I found myself in the extraordinarily embarrassing position of agreeing with Dan Quayle.

If the vice president thinks it’s disgraceful for an unmarried woman to bear a child, and if he believes that a woman cannot adequately raise a child without a father, then he’d better make sure that abortion remains safe and legal.

Every fire hydrant in the country will be concerned.

The Secret Service is under orders that if President Bush is shot, to shoot Vice President Quayle.

For the Vice President’s benefit, I’ll make sure I use small words.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history.

The thing is, if you control the Senate meetings, you control the gavel. And the gavel is a very important instrument... an instrument of power. An instrument that establishes the agenda.

We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to move forward.

We will move forward, we will move upward, and yes, we will move onward.

We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur .

Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water.

I have a very good family. I'm very fortunate to have a very good family. I believe very strongly in the family. It's one of the things we have in our platform, is to talk about it.

People who bowl vote. Bowlers are not the cultural elite.

This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!

I was known as the chief grave robber of my state.