Mort Sahl Quotes

When I vacate this sack of old bones I won't care what you do with it. Bury or burn it but don't make much fuss.

When I'm dead I don't want a funeral. I want people to remember me alive.

I do not propose to be buried until I am dead.

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies

Mr. Bernard died on a Monday, at the age of seventy-five, his body wasted. He lay in state for two days in the lobby of the Bernard Gursky Tower and, as he failed to rise on the third, he was duly buried.

I want to plant a few more seeds here and there before they plant me

When my mother passed away, we knew what she wanted on her tombstone, so I asked my father, so there wouldn't be any argument among us children, 'Daddy, what do you want on your tombstone?' He thought about that. He said, 'preacher.' So that's what's going to be on his tombstone. Preacher.

That's a very scary thing to think about, being trapped in a coffin.

I expect my immortality will last about six seconds after my funeral.

He is dead and gone, lady, He is dead and gone; At his head a grass-green turf, At his heels a stone.

It's too late to fall in love with Sharon Tate / But it's too soon to ask me for the words I want carved on my tomb.

In the end, all you want is someone to long for you when it comes time to put you in the ground.

Low on his funeral couch he lies!

When you die, do you want to feel ashamed of what you've done with your life? Feel ashamed of what your life meant?

When it's time to shuffle off this mortal coil, you leave your ashes to be composted.

Men always want to be remembered whereas women realize that requires being dead.

Fame is an undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals, and follows them to the grave

He lies below, correct in cypress wood, And entertains the most exclusive worms.

Once someone asked me, "What do you want to be your epitaph?" So I said, "Paulo Coelho died when he was alive.

No couple buying wedding rings wants to be reminded that someday one of them will have to accept the other one's ring from a nurse or an undertaker.

Death possesses a good deal, of real estate, namely, the graveyard in every town.

When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral.