Ben Carson Quotes

I don't have any insight or understanding on anything about the government. All I think is that it's stupid - which is the one perspective that's almost completely lacking in Washington.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Washington DC is a city of motion, not action.

“Is it unusual?... There’s nothing unusual about the entire national security bureaucracy of the United States feeling like their commander-in-chief is a threat to U.S. national security. That happens all the time. It’s totally usual. Nothing to worry about.

All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.

Yes; poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid. Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This shillyshallying with the question is absurd.

You know, what's interesting about Washington...It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second-nature.

[Donald] Trump has many and one of the most obvious is right here in Washington.

A new poll showed that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq and the remaining 34% think that Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church.

I think most of [people] are not very well educated themselves to understand the Winston Churchill line - democracy is the worst of all governments until you consider all the other ones.

I think it is absolutely reprehensible to believe that any member of this House, Democrat or Republican, would want to do anything that would jeopardize the ability to find out exactly what happened leading up to hurricane Katrina and exactly what happened in the aftermath.

He hung up on her. She'd just been hung up on by a disembodied brain in a jar. Fantastic.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'

If you read enough Lionel Fanthorpe, your brain starts to turn to jelly and just dribbles out of your ears.

The main claim to fame, I think, of Bernie Sanders - who I've never met; I'm sure he's a pleasant guy - [is that] he's certainly not stupid.

People are really angry at Washington. And they have a right to be. It's why I ran in 2010, by the way.

Here comes the pope saying, "Well, that may be true about Cruz, but you build walls, and we Christians don't do that. So you're not a Christian, either." Sometimes all you can do is chuckle. I mean, you need a break from it some. You just can't be intense and wadded up all the time here, folks.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

So how's that hopey changey stuff working out for ya?

The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.

I think the American people can change Washington. But I think that it is not going to change, because somebody from on high directs that change.

I love President Bush. I think it's great we have a president who always looks like he's looking directly into the sun.

George W. Bush has a new campaign slogan: "A reformer with results." I don't know what it means [but] I think it's better than his old campaign slogan: "A dumb guy with connections.